Thursday, July 23, 2009

Maxim's Sexiest Ladies

I'm not sure how long ago this came out, but I just ran across Maxim's List of 100 Sexiest Women for 2009 and I must say the list had me raising eyebrows left and right. I'm not exactly sure who chooses these women or decides where they go on the list, but it seems a little arbitrary. Apparently these women are chosen from music, film, modeling, and even politics. Now, I can't take this list too seriously considering it's a degrading way of rating women, who then pose in this men's magazine, usually half-naked. But that being said here are a few of my thoughts on some of this year's women:

#93. Michelle Obama
I don't even know where to start with this one. Should I be happy that the first black lady is in Maxim as sexy woman, ashamed that her publicist people decided it was even a good idea for her too be in such a lewd(in my opinion) magazine or offended that people have had such a negative reaction to her being on the list, citing that she is not hot enough(which, considering the rest of the size two 20-something yr old white women on the list, just seems whack....the woman's rockin it and people need to expand their view of sexy.)

#82. Emma Watson
Hermoine Granger?! Really though? I mean the girl is pretty(for a Brit), but Maxim sexy...who knew? But the lass does have some of that Granger intelligence as she is rumored to have turned down Yale to attend Brown University in the fall. There's nothing like that good old American education know, after you get past our shoddy primary and secondary public school systems that fail to teach our disadvantaged youth. Instead, it favors the rich and well-connected, while stimulating a cycle of poverty that makes it near impossible for underprivileged children to obtain educations at top American universities. But I digress.

#52. Beyonce

As much as like to hate on this woman; frankly, I was surprised she wasn't higher on the list.

#45. Fergie
Am I the only one who thinks this woman is busted? I mean even with her copious amounts of make-up, I'm still a bit frightened by her face. But I will admit, her darker locks are much more fitting for her face.

#44. Avril Lavigne
Really though? This girl hasn't had a song out in a hot minute and she seems too angry and confused to be sexy but whatevs.

#10. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Whaaat? She's still around?! I didn't know people still watched her Horse Whispering show. I keep seeing this chick in all the mags with the titles referencing her weight gain, so I might have been pleasantly surprised if they had a thick JLH, but sadly, not the case. She seems slimmed down and photoshopped up. I remember her best as the "What are you waiting for?!!" chick from the I Know What You Did Last Summer franchise. And I gotta give that movie mad props; Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillipe as co-stars, that movie was loaded with A list teen heartthrobs of the 90s. Ahh the good old days....

#8. Rihanna
I don't even know where to start with this one. I guess I'm glad her face healed enough to be on anybody's Hot List. I still don't appreciate her trying to make C. Breezy look bad like that though. No, but in all seriousness, I know hearts don't heal the way our bodies can and I really don't feel it's fair that so many people have criticized RiRi for not speaking out on behalf of battered women everywhere. She's dealing with her own pain, how can she be expected to take on anyone else's until she's ready? And only she will know when that is. Violence is NEVER the answer!
Chris, I know your next album will be fiyah.

#3. Bar Refaeli
Her name's kind of fly. An Israeli model, she is known for dating Leo DiCaprio and being the first Israeli on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. I don't know what else to say about her...those seem to be her only accomplishments. Oh and coming in 3rd on Maxim's 100.

#2. Megan Fox
Of course, we all knew she'd be on this list somewhere. After seeing her in Transformers 2, I've determined the chick can't act, but as a male friend of mine said "that's not what she's there to do". Besides her nonexistent acting skills, I can't hate on the girl, she is gorgeous and personally, I think she should have been number 1. Which leads to:

#1. Olivia Wilde

Now if you find yourselves wondering, "who?", you're not the only one. I hear she's on House M.D., but I don't watch the show, so I don't really care. Oh, she was also in the Black Donnellys( a show I actually kind of enjoyed), but it got cancelled, so she wasn't of much help to it. Well hopefully garnering the "coveted" spot will help that career of hers.

There you have it. Maxim's List of 100 Sexiest Women abbreviated. There are only 7 black women on the entire list so WOMP to that.

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